Will You Fight Me?

RHPC House *Cheering* Ooh Wow, this is actually pretty entertaining They're actually pretty good fighters for YouTubers Hey, who ate all the scones? See? Everybody is getting in fights now Even Matt Jacob Williams got in a fight and he just started YouTube like a month ago

I mean, he might have just started but his numbers are huge Yeah, and he's really controversial and really good at starting drama, like- -like when he called out The Blah-blah Brothers and exposed them on Twitter Oh yeah! And that time he roasted insertnametv? Like literally, he lit his house on fire! It was a sick burn! So what? I can do things like that! Like the other day, I tweeted out uhh All these YouTuber's fighting in real life Seems pretty interesting and then I added one of those "Hmm" emojis You know which one right? On the iPhone it's like And? Yeah That's not a good callout What are you talking about?? I did the "hmm" That's an obvious invite to fight! That's not even a good tweet! Actually, someone did respond to that A lot

Who's Alex Wussubai? Wussube? Wase- WASSABI Alex Wassabi hEy rYaN "Interesting, I'll show you something interesting, GRRR 👊" "Respond back if you ain't skurred" "If you don't respond, you a BEEP!!!" "Jk, but for real @ me bro" "Or DM, I'll be waiting fam

" You guys are equally bad at call outs Those are call outs? Look, he's been trying to get me to fight with him ever since that whole drama trend even started Even back when it was just diss tracks So, I don't get it then Why don't you just fight him? Or, at least start some drama or something? Yeah, he has over ten million subscribers, and he's like, the same size as you Yeah, plus he already wants to fight you You guys are like a perfect fit! So I don't see why you guys don't wanna just- Cause this is my first time! Alright? You mean, like your first time ever? Well, yeah Not even like a subtweet or anything? No, okay, I never had online drama with anyone Okay, I just, I just want my first time to be I don't know, special I know it's stupid What?! No, we get it Yeah, we just didn't know how much that meant to you Well, it's never gonna happen anyways so what's the point? What?! Come on, no, you know tons of big YouTubers I'm sure at least one of them wants to- YOU DON'T THINK I'VE TRIED THAT? You don't think I've tried reaching out to every single one of the contacts I built on YouTube over the past 12 years hoping that one, just one of them would be interested in fighting me You don't think I've tried that? No I should probably try that- You really should Probably Alright, so this is the list of YouTubers that I can get in contact with that are either in the drama scene or they're just really popular, so

Who do you guys want to start with? Guess we'll start from the top Felix! Whassup, man! How yo- Oh, no, I didn't- I didn't mean any disrespect by that- I didn't mean to call you that I'm sorry Mr Pie! KSI! My boy! How you been, JJ? Hello? disconnected Yeah, Jake's not answering Neither is Logan "Drama Alert!" What's up, Keem? Okay! Fousey! What's up, bro? RiceGum! What's up! Wait, you do wanna? Okay! No, that's- that's great! Yeah we could totally! I dunno, like a 155 pounds Wait, nonono I can- well I can lose the weight I- I can change! No du- Think I just got fat-shamed Kay, who we got next? Well, there's only one left Who is it? Matt Jacob Williams Okay What's that supposed to mean? C'mon, I don't wanna be a downer, but Let's be realistic Real-? I- I am being realistic! I know the guy personally, okay? I met him at the Steamy Shotty awards Right He just had the biggest fight ever

Everybody wants drama with him Do you even have his number? Yes! Okay? Jus- Watch Matty J Wills! Nice to talk to you again! First off, I just wanna congratulate you on the last fi- Wait who is thi- one sec Alex Oh its the wasa-bai guy! You changed your name in my phone? Where did you even get the chance to do that? You don't know where I live! No! Nononono, no! I don't want you to prove it! Don't you- Don't you dare! Al- ALEX! Yeah, so uh, Matt said he's busy Let's face it I'm just never gonna have beef with anyone I mean sure, I could start drama with some random person, but in order to escalate that drama from mean tweets to a diss track, to an actual fight that people wanna see, you need the real stuff

You need that passionate loathing that authentic disdain that only comes from two people who just know how to get under each other's skin and just piss each other off to the point of hatred! That's what true hate is! That's what people wanna see! It's just not who I am I would never be that way What? Hey, this is scone crumb You said you didn't take the last one! Really? That's what you're gonna focus on? I spill my heart to you guys and you're not even listening? Look Maybe you just haven't met the right guy yet or girl What? Ew! It's 2018, guys Sure you're be teased a little bit in the beginning, but Hate is hate! You just have to have an open mind! I'm not gonna fight a girl, okay? I'm not co-ed, I like guys! I fight guys Whatever, don't have to be so heterophobic about it Hey, you just got a text from Matt Jacob Williams What? Really? He says he's here! What would 'Matt Jacob Williams' be? Oh, that son of a – Heeyyyy Ryan! It's good to see you again! What do you want Alex? Well, I- I've noticed that you haven't been responding to my texts, Tweets, DMs, Facebook messages, Handwritten lett- I don't wanna talk to you, okay, so what's your point? Well, my point is When you called me earlier, I was literally in the middle of packing for Europe And? I got offered a fight in England I was going over there and I thought "I can't leave without figuring out what this is, what- what is this between us?" Okay first of all, I did not try to call you, okay? I don't know when or how you did it, but you changed your name in my phone Oh that was when you left your phone at the Steamy's! xd Secondly, I don't know how you, of all people, got a fight, but I don't care! So if you came here just to rub it in my face, No, no, no, no, no! That's not it at all! Then what are you here for? I came here because Cause you're my dream fight <3 Something about you rejecting me over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and ov- Yes over and over a lot of times! Yes, what? Again and again, it just builds up my hate for you! And I won't be able to focus on this fight in Europe or any other fight Until I get a definite answer from you So, once and for all, Ryan Anthony Higa That's not even my middle name Will you fight me? ≧ ω ≦ Alex, I don't know how I could have been any more clear than I have been up until this point Wait, wait, wait, wait! I feel like I know where you're going with this And before you do Alex! Okay, I don't know if this is just because you're stupid and you really can't understand what I'm saying, Maybe you just went deaf through your own high-pitched girly voice But get this through your thicc dumb disproportionate dandruff-breeding head! I will never EVER fight you! If this is about the dandruff, I've been usin- EVER!! 👊 rip gloves :< Okay I get it I'll just, uh, You know, Ryan? You will NEVER find true hate in your heart unless you ch- Shut up! *slam* What? Look at you What about me? You're glowing! With rage! I'm not "glowing," what are you talking about? I've seen you upset before, but that That was different Yeah! You even had some decent insults there! I know, right? It was like "where was that coming from?" I thought he was actually gonna punch him in the face Right? Like, if I I'm not gonna fight Alex, okay? I don't care how many times you guys keep bringing it up But you saw what he's like, okay? He, he's just, he's just weird, and he's annoying, and sure I might dislike the guymaybe a little bit But I don't like Seriously, okay like You- you saw what he's like He hacked my phone! That's, that's not just crossing the line, that's illegal, okay? Just even thinking about him right now, it freakin makes me like

I freakin just- Hate him? Whh-what?? No???? I don't- I don't hate him! I don't I don't /hate/ him, I dislike him a lot, but Ryan Go get him! "Cause you're my dream fight!" "I will never EVER fight you!" "Something about you rejecting me" "over and over and over and over and over and over!" "And over and over and over!" (peek Ryan's fake running) "Again and again!" Alex! Alex! Ryan? Dude, why'd you park so far, man? What do you want, dude? Haven't you yelled at me enough? No I haven't Not even close What? Its hard for me to admit this but I was wrong! Like, you and everyone else around me can see that there was something here, and I just didn't wanna admit it because, I dunno, I was scared How do I know you're not just saying that? Except I never felt like this about anyone else ever before Well, jus

just thinking about what your face looks like I just get so angry, you know? I have been looking at you right now I can see our future together I can see us fighting You don't know how bad I want to put you in a rear-naked choke You could put me in an arm bar We don't even have to stop! Even after the tap! Cause Alex, I I hate you So much! You make me more hateful person than I ever thought I could be You mean it? I do Every last bit

That was really mean! Now I stand here just a boy standing in front of another boy asking him to fight him We don't need gloves! TeeHee! Hey! Hey! Stop! Stop! This is just sad! Seriously! No! No WeApOn!! No weapons!!!

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