WEIRDEST ROAST EVER!!! (WILD CARD)

If I land this I'm gonna throw all the water on you go I'm derrick and i'm paco, and you're watching another episode of Wild card Let's see how our video is doing Let's do it

I wish Shawn was there too bad He was sick when we were filming Maybe we could post something with him on every second and for Sunday Hey, that's a good comment I don't like that comment! That's a bad comment Ryan saved the video hell no Ryan was just a little sprinkle We were the dopeness for the video man that video have been so active we weren't in the only reason they thought the video Was good, it's cuz his big head took up all the space and they think he's a good wrestler That was all edit he had a stunt double What if we roasted Ryan for our video? Yeah, you want me : no let's call him No, I'm gonna call him Hello hey right you won't be in a video today ah sorry I can't right now, I'm kind of busy mmm What do you guys trying to film? Oh? We're just gonna roast you? Interesting See I told You man you love Ryan so much are you just a b-tier Sean? Thanks Sean? Oh you think you got jokes today

Yeah, I got jokes and burns What have we just roast each other yeah for video this week, I like that I hear yes, sir, what is that a diaper? I think your parents thought your girl, bro Look your parents had that tampon ready to go not at five What are you a monkey doing the whole life? That's beer Jesse my bras job because I'm a girl probably what happened man I'm here to hear you Just look like you got hit with like life life Experiences can you still do cross I do I'm not even cross You got the holeshot nice thing going on right there all right all right, give me one of your pictures dick How are you gonna? Talk about me being a girl? There's literally three girls in here your parents had three daughters How are you a dancer when you got two left feet look at your bank? So whether they're early does the Bieber and then move it sideways I was banging Oh you got bang good Why is your head so big? You look like a wee character sock we character a slightly ugly That's probably cuz you a little weenie ding All right, where do I begin bro all right first of all that's the picture dirty? It's not me dirty I don't show up the photo shoots dirty I'm pretty sure that's just you hell a dirty, bro You must have not taking a shower for weeks for this photo

Huh still got a mole on your face I guess I don't have a mole That's the dirty feature okay That's a moles I just told Dan what you think you're an athlete dark holding this tennis racket the way in that's how you hold the tennis right, bro Ain't nobody holding a tennis racket at the weigh-in everyone who knows other plates that has hold it at the end dan What's up? What your ears bro? What'd you spark? That's why you don't listen huh cannot connect it to your head Oh my gosh You just have one big ears know the angles dude Yeah, such a long neck no I mean yeah

You still got a long neck now No I don't know oh Yeah, you just got a fat neck neck up Dan look at your bangs again, dude everybody straight as the LGBTQ movement, but we got bangs and strays your team ain't got no teeth eggs You just got some jacked-up foliage on your head You got the Asian Donald Trump grow your ears are ginormous Most people have to do this your ears already do it You look like you're listening to the future you look like you can hear a dolphin speak Normal people got five senses, but you got five and a half with those ears Oh, whoa, you look kind of close? It looks like your tongue is like a bald person about to pop up But I'm Derek damn your arms is how long you look like you're about to slap someone like 10 feet away I'll better slap you Oh my gosh

You're in the straight Maggie era right now You should be wearing a medium in this shirt It's like clean triple XL your shirt is so big What do you get lost in this thing dude? What you need a map to navigate around in this shirt man this shirts so big even be loose on Fat Albert You're on one knee right here, so what are you a wrestler at this time? No? There's a high school tennis picture you're still playing at this time yes both of the pictures are pretty close ain't nobody told you to quit I Was actually second at States for dole, and you know Ricky Bobby said hey look at your forehead How'd you go from foliage here to just full-on by then you got enough space for a billboard biz enough space for an empty parking lot your face was a keyboard this will be the Spacebar that last picture you had no teeth this is what you just put two dead team ice in your mouth But it's like white powder on your shirt you put like two pieces of chalk as your teeth And then smeared it on your shirt, so this is my prom picture And I asked if her face could be shown and she said okay, so no Where do I begin? What you think you Georges a jungle or something you're trying to do the whole mine thing before it even started Transcending the legs are so small in this photo It's not my real legs I'm on my knees That's something used to huh nope I bet you're on your knees begging her to be your date Huh that's why you quit tennis huh you can't even jump are the inviter You don't jump over the divider in tennis look at your head It's so big

It's bending her arm Angles Derek you just got a big head I know it dude there You go ahead so what she felt Sorry for you That's why you got a date Why are you holding her so awkwardly? She's like forcing you to hold her are you afraid of girls still don't why you love Ryan so much you need to fire your Barber your lines are crooked yo with that haircut

You should be like is all your hair pick crooked That's why you look better bald Huh? What is it? It looks like you're about to give blood? What's your blood type beat is your beat earshot? I had a lay that looks way cooler Looking like you're going to the blood bank You look like you have a drug addiction why you got the big Steve Harvey pants I know you got some scrawny legs your legs in those pants is like throwing a toothpick and a Grand Canyon are you wearing pink? – I'm wearing orange look like a reverse creamsicle There's a recent photo off my Instagram dude make it, but – she's oh, dude love, baby She's tight season – winter Nikon we could have had something you look like you're a chipmunk, bro That's why you're nuts look at your ears They're still slanted out and you only have one still – yeah – Megan's pointing at your mole, bro – I don't have a bull holy moly Holy mole she's pointing at it right there two fingers She's just super I'd like a in my bedspread Paco damn you got friend-zoned, bro Not oh So you're a bad boy, huh it's like a fake bad boy picture though You got your ring finger up You're showing how single you are that's a finger you used to pick your nose isn't it nose, and you check to change There's one change you count your joke is so weak bro Is that all you got this is just a warm-up roast battle you feel laughs you get splash ladies first, so I'll go first God you gods you achoo What you think you a dancer swaying left and right you ain't got no rhythm you Asian Yeah elbow, so ask you got dance Rose your jokes ain't on point Just like the ears You smell like trash days you are trash you came from trash when you got first your mom said Oh trash You're Ryan's community service project will and Greg don't like you

I don't like you Dana doesn't like you even rock It don't like you He doesn't even follow you on Instagram, right? Gum has more muscle than you do you have no hair you watch women's tennis to know what a girl homes like Erica's is the Midget Mexican, what do we do you look like the reject d-trix you got so many holes in this shirt You look like spongebob you came from the wasabi productions groupie not hot That's my heart thirsty does I see although the mg sent and ain't no girls responding I'm wearing what you are a big zero, or you wearing what you are a double zero I didn't salt your dad, but I think Ryan would get mad I didn't saw your mom, but I think Ryan will get mad Ryan hired You have pity Josh foo was a better member than you were you nose is so big people say water knows oh You like to play tennis because you like to play with balls You still broke this the only time you ever had a bill your hair turns more colors in a cereal It should call you fruity pebbles This is like an episode of worth it We have a dollar comedian

There's the thousand dollars meeting Your lip so chapped they look like gravel You just have to kick this pick your scabs EDD your face is flatter than your chest You're so ugly That's the reason you were Jabberwocky future song does not apply to you keep the mask on Your mama song Man good thing we didn't like that yeah, or else we would die no my Whoa

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