Skitzo – Reunited

-Hey guys, so I know it's been like a year since we all last got together, but, uh, what have you guys been up to? [dramatic music playing] Guys guys -You guys all look a lot fatter

-Okay guys, so as I was saying earlier, how have you– -We're up-seh– -Tuh -Okay -With you

-Okay, why? -I don't know Why don't you tell me? -What? -That's what she said -She? Who are you talking about? -We're upset with you -All right, can one of you guys please explain, 'cause I don't know what she– -Yo dawg, you haven't made a Skitzo in over a year -Yeah, you're too busy making those stupid Off the Pill videos

-I mean, it's been really hard to get all of you guys togeth– -And those stupid whack songs Nobody wants to hear you sing, man -Oh, come on -You're barely even a comedian, let alone a musician -Nice Guys did pretty well

-I didn't like it -Well not good enough if Ray William Johnson pass you in subscriber [others gasp] -All right, all right You guys think it's so easy, huh? You don't know what it's like to have so many people to please You know what, go

Go make a video I wanna see you guys make a video, see what it– -Done -But how did you guys When did you like how did you– -Shut up and play it! -Lesson one: talk to your camera in a room by yourself really fast, using a lot of hand motions and moving your eyebrows a lot Hey guys, I'm Ryan Higa

I'm gonna be talking about a bunch of things I don't like I don't care if you guys agree with me, I don't care if you do, I don't care if the quality's bad, I don't care if there's a dog in my bed All I care about is Bieber Fever And then the video's done -Lesson two: make fake advertisements that people don't even want

Oh, look at me I'm Ryan I'm selling a product like Like this box with paper in it, and I just take one Wait wait, it doesn't stop How– this is this is like a magical box! It doesn't– it's infinite! I want it! -Lesson three: be Asian -Lesson four: make Dear Ryan videos -Deer Ryan -Lesson five: create stupid videos about lamps because you have no friends [soft pop music playing] -Ughhhhh (Uh-huh) Yeah (yeah, yeah) I don't know what these sounds are (I don't know) But uhhh (what the sounds are) I'm sad (so sad) Girls don't seem to like me And I'm such a nice lamp Not anymore

(ohhh) I never brighten a room Or light up a shade You can turn me on all night girl And I'll never behave And if your bulbs be burning out I'll never inspect ya 'Cause I be plugging in your outlet With no surge protector L-l-like whoa You ain't sitting on the table Table's for the baddest Take a sat on my cable I only use you at night Take your phone, I'll call it But then until I hit you up I put you back in the closet [gasps] You're not a lamp -[feminine voice]: Well, to be quite honest [masculine voice]: I'm not even a girl -Teehee! -Seriously? -What? -Is it like Pick on Ryan Day today or something? -Well, we wouldn't have to team up on you if you'd let us be on your team -What? -We would like to play, right, Hanate? Exactly, see? So let us play; we wanna help -That's right

[all talking at once] -All right, stop! Why must we shout? Why must we fight? This is how it start It starts from a little pebble and it grows into a big problem It doesn't matter if your skin is white or black oror green It doesn't matter All that matter is that we work together because, united, united [indistinct] we stand -Amen Amen

[tender music playing] -What the hell are you talking about? -I don't know

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