And I believe this to directly relate To the plastic water bottle conspiracy of '73 The question still remains
Is the Illuminati real? I've laid out the facts for you, America It's time to spread the truth Wake up, America Don't be a sheep These guys are absolutely ridiculous So dumb
I can't believe people believe in this stuff Like, seriously? They'll find any reason to say it's Illuminati Oh, Miley Cyrus has an eyeball tattoo, Illuminati confirmed! Doritos are triangle shaped, Illuminati confirmed! The three of us are still awake, but Erica's stillstillsleeping Illuminati con-confirmed
You don't really get what we're doing, huh, Sean? No It's okay Don't worry Wait, who's Erica? Oh, it's just our other roommate Don't even worry about it She's sleeping
Oh Well, dude, don't worry about it, Sean It's okay I mean, Illuminati's the biggest waste of time Just because a bunch of celebrities like Jay-Z, Lady Gaga, Beyoncé all hold up the same hand symbol – or triangle sign– – Wait, what did you just say? – What? – Jay-Z, Lady Gaga, Beyoncé? Yeah
What about 'em? Jay-Z, Lady Gaga Jay-Z, Lady Gaga, Beyoncé Oh my God Guys, I think I got it Jay-Z, Lady Gaga, Beyoncé What do they all have in common? Uh, I just told you
They all put up their stupid hand signs- – No, not just that – They're all celebrities? No! – They're all in the music industry? – No! Then just tell us! They all have an E in their name! No, they don't Only Beyoncé has an E in her name No, not the letter E The sound "E"
Bee-yonce La-dee Gaga – Jay-Zee – Seriously? – Serious-lee! And you know what? They're not the only ones *Coffee machine* Hey, Erica
You think you could make your coffee another time? We're kinda in the middle of something Fine I'm going back to sleep then Thanks How to access your secret lab: Put book back
Welcome, Ryan When did you have time do to all this? Oh, there we go As I was saying, it's not just Beyoncé, Lady Gaga and Jay-Z There's more Think about it
Who are some other celebrities that are rumored to be a part of the Illuminati? Uh, Nicki Minaj? Nick-kee Manaj? – Miley Cyrus? – Mi-lee Cyrus – Kim Kardashian? – Kardash-ee-an Well, what about Kanye West? He's rumored to be part of it Oh, you mean Kan-yee? It's Kanye Then why does he refer to himself as Yeezy? Or why is his album called Yeezus? It's Kan-yee! Learn how to reeead Okay, fine All their names have an E sound in it, but what does that have to do with Illuminati? Good question
See, I've been working on the same theory for minutes now The name Illuminati is a clue in itself What? Uh, Illuminati? They're saying Il-lum-I-NOT-E, which is exactly what they want us to think They're hiding from us! But we just cracked the code, and we're gonna prove this thing once and for all – We just talked about how stupid these conspiracies are
– Conspiraca-CEES? The Illuminati are viewed as leaders, the most powerful people and companies in the entire world, and from the time we're kids, we're already being taught to serve them Think about it When you're a little kid, what's the one thing you're forced to do? Go to school And when you're in school, who's the one person that you have to obey? The teacher And when it comes to teachers, what's the one thing you associated teachers with? Apples
Like, why an apple of all things? Because Apple is one of the biggest companies in the world, and they're in on it! Why do you think every single one of their Apple products starts with an I? Like the iPhone Or the iPod! Or the iPad! – Or even the i– – Rack! Hmm, I didn't know they made racks No, like the place, Iraq! See, there's already a lot of conspiracy theories saying we went to war in Iraq for oil, or for money, or for whatever But what if the reason was to protect the secret? So you're saying the Illuminati is located in Iraq? No, that would be way too obvious, but we're close It's someplace around there
I just don't know where to start Hmm, with all the technology we have, too bad we can't just triangulate their position – Wait Sean, say that again! – That again? – Exactly! Triangulate! – Huh? – Triangles! That's another Illuminati sign! That's how we're gonna find them With triangles! – But where do we start? – Isn't it obvious? The pyramids
Even as a little kid, you're taught that pyramids are in Egypt EEE-gypt And what other famous pyramid does everybody learn about as a kid? The food pyramid And if we look above Egypt, we see Turkey, which is up and to the right, exactly where turkey would be on the food pyramid: Up and to the right, in the meat section! And while we're talking about meats, don't tell me it's a coincidence that Saudi Arabia is shaped exactly like the meat they used to draw in cartoons that we watched as kids Even though it is pretty uncooked and red, that could explain exactly why there's the Red Sea right next to it
It's because the Red Sea is just the meat juices dripping down from Saudi Arabia – Or, should I say, Salty A-Rare-Beef-ah – (chuckles) Oh God And if we connect all three points, we have the first triangle, the triangle of pyramids But the Illuminati aren't just represented by pyramids
They're also represented by an eye And what do eyes do? They see Just like the Mediterranean Sea [see], or Syria [See-ria], or, like we mentioned earlier, the Red Sea! That's our second triangle, the triangle of eyes! And when you put the triangle of pyramids and the triangle of eyes together, what do you get? The two triangle star And what country lies in the middle of the star? Israel And guess what Israel's national flag looks like? Exactly
The two triangle star And so, in conclusion, after all my minutes of research ends up finally putting an end to all the ridiculous conspiracy theories and answers the question that's been asked so many times, is the Illuminati real? I present to you the answer: The Illuminati is real
[Israel] It's time you learned the truth Wake up America Seriously? This entire video is a troll video What? No, it's not
You made us sit through this entire video for one bad pun It wasn't just for one bad pun It was also to (yelling) wake up, America! – Wait, who are you? – I'm Erica [America] See? Two bad puns Teehee! So thank you guys again so much for watching
If you want to see last week's video, click the one on the left If you want to see bloopers and behind-the-scenes, click the one on the right And remember wake up, America! Wake up before you go, go, don't leave me hanging and there's something(laughs) I don't know what I'm doing I don't know what I'm doing
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