Off The Pill – Farts

– Farts F to the A to the R to the T to the S

– Fart F to the A to the R to the T Start it (theme music playing) Hey guys, so today, I'm gonna be ranting about farts I don't see why there's such a big deal about farts

When I fart, people are like, "Ew, stop farting! That's so disgusting! That's so immature!" Well, they're the immature ones, because farting is a natural process of life You don't see me going up to people telling them to stop breathing because their breath is stink Just stop breathing! I mean, what's the difference? Sometimes I meet people whose breath smells like fart, and sometimes, it's worse, so I don't see why it's such a big deal Everybody farts except for girls Girls never fart! Just kidding, but seriously Everybody in the world farts So why is it such a big deal? Because we make it to be

I like to answer my own questions Isn't that right? Yes Anyway, for those of you who don't know, there's four major types of farts The first one is loud and proud These farts are really loud, and they usually don't smell that bad

So they're perfect for birthday parties Next, we have the silent but violent These farts are freakin' ninjas They just (fwoo!) right out without anybody knowing, and yet, those are the stinkest ones Next, we have the queefs

These are a bunch of wannabe farts that come from the vagina Posers And last but not least, we have the sharts These farts are the reason you should never force out a fart, because if you do, you might end up farting out sh– Anyway, those are the major types of farts Personally, I think farts are nothing to be ashamed of, but for those of you who are, here's some techniques for you guys to hide your farts

All you have to do is make noise louder than your fart Well, thank you all for coming here and listening to me That was my (farting) PROJECT ON photosynthesis I hope you enjoyed it Next, we have denial

All you have to do is deny, deny, deny That wasn't me What wasn't you? (farting) That And last, we have the blame Just blame it on someone else

(farting) I think it was you What? These techniques are so good that even celebrities use them Crank that Soulja Boy! That's all we have for the chorus? What goes next? I don't know, A-Rab Why don't (farting) youuuuu figure it out? That's genius! See how easy it is? So stop trying to hold in your farts It's healthier if you just let it out, because if you don't let out your farts, all the gas inside your body is gonna start to build up If it starts to build up, it's gonna make you expand If you expand too much, you're gonna explode

When you explode, your body parts are gonna go flying everywhere Dogs, cats, dragons, sheep, they're all going to be eating all your remains, but what happens when they run out of remains to eat? That's right They're gonna go for your babies Do you want to be a baby killer? Because every time you hold in a fart, you're that much closer to killing a baby So like I said in the beginning of the rant, all you people who try to hold in your farts and think that farts are gross and immature, think of it like this

I'm trying to save lives What are you doing? You're killing babies, prick! (fart) Teehee! (fart)

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