How To Get Girls

Hey Guys As most of you know I've been single for a long time now And as much as I say it's fine to be single, I'm not gonna lie that sometimes I miss it Especially when 90% of my closest friends have girlfriends (BOOM) (BOOM) (BOOM) (BOOM) (CONFUSED BOOM) Hey! I don't have a girlfriend I'm not a lesbian! Prove it then

Kiss me! Gross! No! Eh, lesbian Anyway, I'm sure a lot of you guys out there can relate When you're single and all your friends are in a relationship, it makes you want one even more Even if it's unintentional every time you see them together, it kinda feels like they're just rubbing it in your face that you're single Hey you! (mocking L sounds) Wow, ok you guys are just gunna call me a loser to my face? What? No! we're just singing L's What? Get it? Because you're sing-L (forced laughter) Ok I may be exaggerating a little bit But to all you single people out there you know what I mean right? I realize that part of the reason why I'm single is because I have no game what so ever And also I spend pretty much all my time in my room by myself, alone making videos may be part of the reason why And again I know alot of you guys are the same But I took it upon my self, I made it a mission after years of studying women And men, and relationships and gophers I don't know

I don't know why, I don't know I discovered and created the BEST techniques and pick-up lines ever invented that will get you any girl So for all you fellow losers out there Im standing up for you I'm gunna help you, I'm gunna teach you, i'm gunna teach you 100% effective techniques (I don't know if they're good or bad yet) But they're 100% effective That will get you any girl you want! (Funky music) The first thing you have to master in order to get girls are the 3 C's Cool, Courage, Confidence When I see a pretty girl, I turn into a complete loser Well I don't turn into a loser, my inner loser comes out (Dance music) (gasp) (awkward stutter) that's where the first C comes in; cool You have to play it cool don't freak out Second C, courage One of the hardest steps when you see a pretty girl is to go over and approach her, and I'm not gonna lie, I used to chicken out a lot (deep breath) (stammers) This is when courage comes in Don't make her wait You just need to instantly build up the courage and just walk right up to her

And once you got those two down, all you need is the third C, confidence Don't ever show that you're nervous Never show weakness You're the– you're the– (mumbling) face is nice I thought I'd come over here and say that– you're– I– Just be confident

When you're confident, anything you say will work 'Sup, bitch? Oh! Alright, so maybe you can't say anything In fact, here's a list of things that you should probably never say because they don't work, trust me Whoa, you got some big feet! Oh! What's up, girl? I like your stubble Oh! Hey, we got the same Adam's apple

Oh! Hi, I'm Ryan Higa Oh! Wow, this is amazing I could not ask for a better situation Do you think you would like to maybe introduce me to your friend? Oh! I don't know I thought they'd think it was funny

So now you guys got the three C's down, all that's left is what you have to say I don't know what that was There are a lot of different girls in this one, and that's why I created pick-up lines for every single type of girl, such as For hot girls, guys are always trying to come up with newer, smarter pickup lines, so it's actually more original to a hot girl to give her a lame and obvious one Key point, just be different If other guys are trying too hard, do the opposite Hey, could I have your number? Cuz I seem to have lost mine Sure

What is this? My phone number Well, how's this supposed to help me find mine? (sniffs) Oh my god, did you fart? What? No Cuz you just blew me away

I haven't heard that one since the third grade For a second there (Ryan farting) Nevermind, it was me

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so what? Aren't you gonna finish the song? That's a song? Hmm There's my number

Here, you can have this one A lot of the coolest girls are nerds, girls that are smart and into technology and video games Well, all you have to do here is just play on their level Um, excuse me, do you happen to have an iOS 6 or later iPhone that I could borrow? I just really need Google Maps, being that I'm completely lost in your eyes right now Hey, are you busy tonight? Cuz I think you should come over to my place

Yeah, you know, we can have a LAN party, play some Counter-Strike, where I'll obviously be the Counter Terrorist because you're obviously the terror story Wait, what? You're looking bomb tonight, girl You know the difference between you and me? About 12 inches That's almost the size of my feet, which are about nine, and you know the difference between your feet and my feet? I said it earlier, twelve inches, which we all know is the length of a foot, and if I were to take my foot and take a one-foot step towards you, you know what the difference between you and me would be then? Uhm, zero? No, you didn't count the length of my foot It's like something like negative nine

My foot would be on your foot because I'm coming on to you Some girls don't like to play games Just get straight to the point Hey, what's up, girl? Let me put my P in your V real quick Your P? Yeah, my P, you know, my– my D

Oh, okay Thanks for letting me put my pet deer in your van How can I ever repay you? Kiss me Straight to the point Just make it seem like you're insulting her at first when you really aren't

That way, the next line will sound amazing Wow, you must have a lot of Big Mac meals from McDonald's, huh? Excuse me? Yeah, cuz out of all the girls here, you're number one Sometimes there's gonna be a language barrier You just have to adapt (slowly) Do you like the anime One Piece? You don't have to speak like that

I speak English You, anime, One Piece Hai? If you find out she's a hardcore Belieber Hey, do you like Justin Bieber? Oh my god I love him! Byechances are she's underage Walk away These are specifically meant for girls who think that pickup lines are cheesy Let them know they don't even know what cheesy means yet Look, I know this might seem a little out of the blue, and I know you're probably feta with a bunch of guys coming up to you, so I'll keep this brie-f

I think it would be a gouda idea if we were to prowl around together, unless, of course, you prefer to provolone Oh my gosh, you're the cutest May I have a picture with you? You have my Parmesan One, two, three, say "cheese" That's not a good one

Last but not least, some girls just hate pickup lines in general, because they hate when guys are predictable and give them the same old thing These pickup lines are a little less predictable, and they kind of do the opposite Um, did it hurt? What, when I fell from heaven? Yeah, I heard that one before What? No, when your ex-boyfriend broke up with you a month ago What? Who– who told you that? Yeah, and your new boyfriend broke up with you tonight, huh? I don't have a boyfriend

We're through Hey, are you from Tennessee? Why? Cuz I'm the only ten you see? No, you're like a six, still above average If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put– What? U and I together? No, I mean, I would use those letters, but it would be U R A B-I-T-C and H So overall, in conclusion, now that you know how to pick up girls, the last thing you have to do is simple Just go for it

Oh, that's why And before you know it, you'll go from this You're the– (mumbles) face is nice

I thought I'd come over here and say that- hito this

Hey, you like Justin Bieber? Uh, he's alright, I guess In that case, did it hurt, you know, when your ex-boyfriend broke up with you? No, it was a mutual breakup Oh, well, um, well, are you from Tennessee? Because you're– No, I'm a five, maybe six tops Um, well, if I could rearrange the alphabet– But really, you can't, so Look, I'm doing my best, all right? I'm trying my hardest Just stop trying Just be yourself (sighs) Look, I just– I just like you a lot

I saw you from across the club earlier, and you're so pretty and I just– I didn't know what to do or say and I just froze, you know? Once I got the courage to come over here, I just– I started saying all these pick-up lines from this dumbass video I watched earlier, and– Look, just take it easy If you have to watch your video to be something you're not, girls are gonna see right through that Just be yourself You're right You think we could start over? Sure

Hi, I'm Ryan Higa Oh! How could this night get any worse? Hey, you (chorus of L's) (screaming chipmunk) Just just felt left out So See you guys later

I don't know where the– why the DJ stopped, but

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.