Dude vs. Wild – The Desert

DUHN DUHN DUHN DUHN DUHN DUHN DUHN (Dramatic music) Right now, we're in the desert; this is no place for fun and games You do NOT want to get lost out here

(Voiceover) But every year, stupid tourists get lost out here every week (Coughing) Got a little rough on the dismount- but, uh, we're good Let's go, come on! (Voiceover) It's been nearly three minutes and I'm completely starving I need to eat fast or my tummy is going to hurt Oh, stop, stop You see that? You see that over there? I have to be really careful, these are one of the most dangerous creatures of the desert The hippopotamus I don't think he saw me yet, so we're still good But I was wrong All right, I'm gonna sneak up from his rear and grab him, that's when I'll take him, all right? This is incredibly dangerous, so don't ever try this at home Do it somewhere else It was a bit risky, but, it's gonna be worth it Uhh You can pretty much find these, uh, these canned vegetables pretty much anywhere you go Uh, especially in the deserts, uh, you just gotta know where to look And, uh (Spitting out vegetables) Ah! (Gagging) That is just- That is just awful, this is just awful (Voiceover) It was awful Luckily, uh There's a technique that I heard about from my mother's father's grandson Where you just take a big whiff (Sniffing) Ah and uh, that is much, much better, much better (Voiceover) The ancient natives used this technique to absorb half the vitamins and minerals because half the taste is in the smell All right, we really need to get moving; we have a lot of ground to cover (Voiceover) I have to get moving now, before the sun goes down because I'm afraid of ghosts And that's about enough for today, I need to find some shelter (Panting) I think it's about time to find some shelter, because I don't know what time it's gonna get dark here But, uh, luckily, uh, I usually- I usually have a watch But, uh, Luckily I have my cell phone, so I can use it like a sun dial And it's about it's about 10:30 PM right now, so we really need to get started (Voiceover) The ancient natives used this technique with their cell phones, but it's not always completely accurate I was off by about six hours I have to work hastefully, because the sun is going down and I need something to protect me from all the predators and aliens So I've been working about five hours now and I think we- I- I think I got enough shelter to last me the night Right here (Peaceful music) But it's no time for rest, I have to get moving This terrain is incredibly disorientating, but luckily, I can navigate using the stars So if you can find the star, all you have to do is follow it and it will always always lead you home 50% of the time Unfortunately for me, this was not one of those times I'm completely lost DUHN DUHN DUHN DUHN

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*


This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.