Daily Life of NinjaHinja

-Oh hi, didn't see you there Oh wait, yes I did

You didn't see me 'cause I'm a ninja Every day I wake up, the first thing I do is work out

I do strength, speed, and cardio [moans weekly] For strength, I start with one-handed push-ups [moans weekly] Strength! For speed, well, have you ever seen a ninja move this fast? Speed! And one of the hardest exercises of my day would have to be working on my cardio Yo, how much you want? -$2,500 -Deal! -(both) Hooh! -"Car deal

" A true ninja always takes the harder route from point A to point B That is known as parkour or as I like to say, "park our," because that's how I like to pronounce things, I say it like how it's spelled I don't care if it sounds dum-b -Parkour, parkour Is that a rock, I'll jump over it Parkour, parkour Walls can't contain my spider climb Parkour, parkour Is that a light post, move, light post Parkour, parkour Sometimes I'll just use the door -Being a ninja, I've been known to break things

I can break anything I can break wood I can break bricks, break branches, break wind, take a break, break dance, break cars, brake cars, break-fast, and, of course, the most extreme of all, break-ups We need to talk -We are talking

-I'm so sorry -No -Yes -But, is it another girl? -No -Another guy? -No

-Then why? -Well it's because because you're bleeding all over my carpet -What? -Ninja quiz! Everybody knows that a ninja has to be stealthy and use camouflage Can you find me here? No, I'm not under the couch Not the lamp, not the table, then where am I? Boom! Wrong! I was the lamp

In order to be a ninja, you have to always have the art of surprise with you Last but not least, every single day, I'm brought at least one mission from my ninja owl Thank you, Hedwig -Who, who the hell is Hedwig? My name is Pichu -Let's do this

[dramatic music playing] In the name of the broomstick gods, I summon thee [clattering] -What the hell are you doing here? -Oh, I think you know -Oh, I really don't -Okay [punching sound-effects] When you're all out of options and ninja stars, you know what to do

That's right, remember? The last thing you'd expect from a ninja is Ninja gun star! [grunts] Surprise Teehee! -Why are you doing this to me? -'Cause I was ordered to by ytf

-They wanna kill me? -No Just need to buy more cookies -Well, in that case, let me get those thin mints, I really like those, the way they just touch my mouth -By the name of the broomstick gods, give me a sharper broom -They're not invisible, they're–[yells]

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